In which I was sick ...

Last week, I got sick. Not serious sick. Not hospital-level sick. Just plain old, garden-variety, lying on the couch, hating the world and everything in it (excepte Mephistopheles Danger Gordon, The Husband Bear and salt and vinegar rice crackers) sick.

All would have been lost in a very depressing, puddly, all-losty kind of way, EXCEPT ...

it turns out when I get sick I become ...

SUPER WRITER PERSON!!!

Seriously! Before this bout of sickness I was convinced all I was capable of doing while sick was lie on the couch and yell at inanimate objects, but it appears I ALSO have a hitherto undiscovered talent for writing lots in between my yelling! 15,000 words worth of lots! WOOT!

Whether it's good lots, I am not entirely sure. I will spend the weekend finding out, but at the moment I am on a big 15,000 word long cloud of writerly bliss.

So, the moral of this story: sick = bad and 15,000 words is not enough to make it un-bad and repeat-worthy, but it does numb the pain slightly.

Stuff ...

Stuff I want to read this week:

Never Bite a Boy On A First Date - by Tamara Summers

Vulture of Sommerset - by Stephen M Giles

The Heights - by Brian James (even though it gets the songs from that 90's TV show stuck in my head every time I see it on the shelf)

Find Your Tribe - by Rebecca Sparrow

Stuff I want to watch this week:

The rest of Tess of the D'Urbervilles, even though I know it will make me cry BUCKETS - Oh, you have torn my life all to pieces... ... sob!

At least one episode of Being Human

Last night's Dr Who again because it was made of Tardis-sized awesome!

Stuff I want to listen to this week:

Century Child - Nightwish

Verisakeet - Moonsorrow

These Days of Grays - Sonata Arctica

Victory Songs - Ensiferum

(and yes, for anyone who was wondering, I am on a Finnish metal bender ...)

Stuff I want to buy this week:

NOTHING! I AM SAVING FOR EUROPE, DAMMIT!

Stuff I want to write this week:

A poem for my little brother

More of my Finnish metal music WIP (hence the obsession, but also because it's fantabulous, gosh-darnit!)

Stuff I want to wear this week:

Jeggings. Ignore the haters! They are COMFY!

Stuff I want to do this week:

Go walking in the Cascade Gardents with my Husband Bear (and maybe run down a hill this time)

Tell my Mum she's beautiful

Tell my Dad he's the best man that ever there was

Ignore the people who make me sad and stabby

Hug the ones who make me smile and who never give up on me

In which I freak out about sending a manuscript off ...

It is official. I have scared, paranoid, ridiculous writer troll disease.

The symptoms of this disease are as follows: 

1. Eating too many corn chips (although, this may just be a symptom of being me)
2. Yelling at the cat for trying to sit on my knee
3. Yelling at the Husband Bear for ... umm ... waking up
4. Reading my MS SIXTEEN TIMES
5. Deliberating over the width of bowsprits (this is a pointy thing on a boat)
6. Adding in an additional character, then removing her, then adding her again
7. Giving one of my protagonists two middle names. Just because.
8. Reading my previous (prequel) MS three times
9. Going to the gym a lot
10. Falling off the treadmill at the gym after having AN EPIPHANY
11. Yelling at the Husband Bear for playing his guitar
12. Yelling at the cat for wanting to be fed
13. Saying over and over to anyone who will listen "You don't understand. YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND!"
14. Thinking that tangerine chocolate and salt and vinegar chips is a good breakfast idea
15. Obsessively wearing tights
16. Going to the hairdresser because she doesn't mind listening to me talk about shapeshifting Tasmanian tigers for an hour
17. Not stopping typing when I cut my finger. Even when there is blood in my keyboard

I know. It sounds like I am an evil, nasty horrid little troll, doesn't it (Husband Bear and Mephy the Psychotic Black Cat nod vigorously), but I am reliably informed all above symptoms are normal when a usually pretty sweet-natured person is working on a manuscript. And my symptoms have neutralised now the MS has winged its way off. But still, it would be nice to have some reassurance I am not, in fact, a troll. Reassurance? Please?

In which I make a list of things I love about being a writer ...

1. I can work in my jammies
2. I can work with my cat on my knee (or feet, or, sometimes, computer - not so good)
3. I can work while eating corn chips (don't tell Husband Bear. He hates it when I eat over my keyboard)
4. I can MAKE STUFF HAPPEN. In life, this isn't very common. Most of the time, I don't feel like I have much control or power over things. When I'm writing, I am God
5. I can actually create people. And worlds. And creatures. This is fun.
6. I can, every half an hour or so, stand up and do a spontaneous happy dance around me lounge room. They have forbidden me from doing this in my other job.
7. I can work while listening to Badly Drawn Boy, Neutral Milk Hotel, The Shins, Ensiferum, Opeth, Sonata Arctica, Paddy Casey, Martha Wainwright, The Smiths. At work we only have Naff Classical, Naff World Music, Naff Lounge or Naff Elevator Music.
8. I get to meet all sorts of awesome writer people in the Twitterverse and Blogosphere. They are lovely, funny, supportive and kind
9. Ditto for the real world. And, an added bonus, in the real world we can have hot chips together. Woot!
10. I make my librarian parents proud!
11. I get to read books, watch movies, go on road trips "for research"
12. I get to be violent, aggressive, sexy, smart, cool, funny, scary - all the things I am not (usually), in the real world
13. I never have to grow up. In the real world I'm getting old and wrinkly. In my books, I'm always a kid
14. I get to have a writer group. For a shy, kind of anti-social person ... I get to have a GROUP!!!
15. I can blame all of my moods on being a writer. Not that the Husband Bear often accepts this as an excuse. But still.
16. Sometimes, I get out of housework.
17. Sometimes, when I am being lazy and just sitting there doing nothing, I can pretend I am thinking of ideas
18. I'm crap at making stuff but, soon, I will be able to hold something I made in my hands. And it won't look as bad as the spatula I made in Grade 8 Technology class!
19. I now don't feel so bad about not being able to cook, whistle, sew, ride a bike, wink, drive, do the splits, sing or knit (or any one of the other zillions of things I can't do). Cos I can WRITE!
20. All the nasty people? They get made into baddies in my books. And, sometimes, reach sticky ends (yesssss). The power. The power.
21. My High School English teacher is proud of me.
22. My Husband Bear can imagine a life, when I am "The Next JK Rowling" when he can retire and make beer and breed goats and be a pirate
23. In October, I will be in a series with Penni Russon, Scot Gardner and Kate Constable (and several other incredible peeps). This makes me happy beyond belief.
24. This morning, I travelled all around Tasmania without leaving my lounge room. Tonight, I'm going to Finland!
25. It's all I can do. It's all I want to do. It makes my heart sing

In which I tried to write a picture book ...

I have made a lovely new friend who writes and illustrates amazing, wondrous picture books. 

Meeting this super dooper person has given me the confidence to try something I have always been too afraid to (in a manner that I have never been when I have met super dooper surgeons, triathletes or raw foodists).

I have begun my first ever picture book.

Many people think writing picture books is easy. Heck, if the Prime Minister can whip one up in his spare time, why can't the bust lawyer/doctor/five year old produce at least ten a day? Easy money!

Not so!

The REASON I have been too frightened to ever embark on this project before is that a) I have verbal and writerly diaorrhea, which is sometimes too ... ummm ... diaorrhea-y (erk), for even novel-length works. 60,000 words? Pssshhh! Easy Peasy.

500 (as it turns out): REALLY FLIPPING HARD!!!

So I have a great story, about alley cats in early Tasmania. It is poignant, funny, quirky and sweet.

It is also - at this stage - far too long.

My lovely new friend is being very understanding and patient with me as my story gets slowly shorter, and as I start to get the concept that the old "show don't tell" maxim does not apply in picture books. The pictures tell. The words are only PART of the story.

I hope I can make this thing work (after all, if K Rudd can - with a generous dollop of help from a very talented sidekick writer), while "running" the country, surely I can do it ... eventually ... with a LOT of hard sloggy work.

Whatever the case, I'm going to stick at it. I refuse to fail at something KR has achieved. Except maybe speaking Mandarin ... and grinning all the time and ...

In which I guest blog myself ...

Am being naughty today. The following is a blog post for the soon-to-be-launched Ferret blog for my work. So, in this context, it might sound a bit "old-person-trying-to-be-hip" , but still. I think it's a good list! Let me know what you think!

The best YA books you're NOT reading ...

Seriously? Give Bella and Edward a break. Their sparkles are getting tired. In the meantime, ditch the rubbish on the telly this weekend. (Cougar Town? Whatever), and curl up with one of these hidden treasures.


1.      If I Stay, by Gayle Forman
Oh, this book will make you cry. But in a good way. It’s a New York Times bestseller (almost not-heard-of with books for younger peeps). See what the fuss is about.

2.      Going Bovine, by Libba Bray
Libba Bray wrote the super-successful Gemma Doyle books, but you wouldn‘t even realise this book is by the same person. A weird and wonderful road trip / psychedelic dream novel about a kid dying of Mad Cow disease. I kid you not. It’s brilliant.

3.      Little Bird, by Penni Russon
Penni is a local girl, but that’s not the only reason you should read this amazing book. It’s super funny, sassy, smart and very, very powerful. Go the Tassie girls done good!

4.      After January
Read this in Winter, then beg your olds to take you to Surfers. It’s a perfect summer barbie novel that has a heart warm enough to see you through winter (plus, it’s one of the funniest books EVER).

5.      Looking for Alaska.
Okay, shut up, Nerdfighters. I know you’ve read this one, but for those of you who haven’t, WHAT ON EARTH ARE YOU WAITING FOR, PEOPLE? There is a reason this book has a cult following. It is because it is PHENOMENAL!!!

6.      Very LeFreak, by Rachel Cohn (she co-wrote Nick & Norah’s Infinite Playlist)
Who wouldn’t love a girl with a name like that? Perfect for making your very own playlist for every emotion, ala Very, or for when you’re taking a hard-earned Twitter break. This is the book for all of you seriously considering supergluing your Iphone to your hand. Come on, I know you’re out there.

7.      A Brief History of Montmaray
A change of pace: Read this one for when you’re dreaming of your very own romance on your very own island. This book is so full of loveliness it might just burst in a big cloud of confetti.

8.      Surf Ache, by Gerry Bobsien
Read this on a plane to drizzly Melbourne. Wished I could hijack the plane and take it all the way to Newcastle so I could be a surfer girl like Ella (and meet a boy like Snowy … and have a crazy little sister like Creaky).

9.      Jessica’s Guide to Dating on the Dark Side
No sparkles here, darlings. But there is some super snazzy vampy love, plus a heroine with a truckload more guts in her little finger than Bella has in her whole bloodsuckingly boring body, and a bona fide Romanian vampire. Woot!

10.  Will Grayson, Will Grayson
Okay, so it’s not out yet (you need to wait ‘til May), but I wanted to put something on here that you can look forward to. And you will trust me when I say that this book is PHENOMENAL. It’s a bit naughty, a whole lot funny, and has introduced me to both the best book character EVER in Tiny Cooper, and the best band I’d never heard of in Neutral Milk Hotel. Buy one of their CDs before the book comes out to be ahead of the game. Pure indie genius. Them play the CD while you read this book – so good I read the last page and then turned back to the first and read it all over again.

In which I found a lovely writing group!

I am chuffed, gleeful, awe-struck and glad to have a found a really lovely writing group (code name: Writerama), in my new hometown. 

We meet once a week at a local (and super-dooper lovely, yummy-food-making-kind-to-writers-wondrous), fish and chip super-shop. We bring our netbooks, our resources, ourselves and our brains. 

We don't order much, drink too much of their free bottled water, plug into their electricity and chat, laugh, people-watch and - here is the best thing - WRITE. We don't critique each others' writing, unless we feel a specific urge, but we do discuss it. 

We don't have formal topics or structure. We do spend a lot of time staring out the windows at the River Derwent. It is the best writey thing that has ever happened to me. I want to spend my whole life at writing group (with brief breaks to go and see the Husband Bear and Mephy, and watch Arrested Development).

All newbie writers, best tip I can give you: Get a writing group like mine. S'all, y'all.